Why does time feel so scarce? Maybe we're not spending it as well as we could. James Wallman offers helpful strategies for improving our leisure time, in his book Time and How to Spend It.
Part of the explanation was that at work we are trained, doing tasks that challenge us and (hopefully) achieving goals. At home we flick channels hoping for something better than when we checked 10 minutes ago.
But who wants to work more? Free time is scarce enough already. Isn't it?
Reason 1 is that we now earn so much, so are more tempted to trade away more of our free time. Reasons 2 to 6 relate to digital devices (see my review of Digital Minimalism).
Reason 7 is the basis of the rest of the book. We aren't taught leisure. While the corporate world has endless courses on time management and business productivity, there's not much to teach us how to get maximum joy from our personal time (until this book).
So we waste time on empty experiences, because we didn't have a better idea, or because the empty experience was well-marketed.
You take the quiz twice. First what you think brings greater joy, and second - what you personally would actually choose. (I scored pretty well theoretically but not-so-well on what I'd actually do, so I've got change to make.)
The book includes heaps of detail about how and why each of these things increase our happiness; some very interesting stories from James; and ideas for experiences that include these factors.
Here's a very brief summary of each one:
James gives tips on how to choose activities with story and how to tell our story. It's also about how we tell our story to ourselves that affects our happiness.
The third type is more about personal growth, development and self-actualisation. He says all three have their place, but the "go and become" offers the most transformation.
That list includes stress, hostility, depressive symptoms, cortisol levels, blood pressure and fatigue. All things we'd like less of.
Generally when we are in these environments we are also physically active, which also increases happiness.
Comedian Romesh quips the poor battery life of smartphones is the best thing about them, because "when the battery runs out, then I'll interact with my kids". Phones are really good at distracting us from things we truly enjoy.
The book includes a phone addiction quiz. (I wonder how Romesh would score.)
I recently heard the story of woman who cycled down the west coast of the USA. While she did it solo, she did bump into other long-range riders along the way and has a great story to tell.
Even short-lived interactions, like one with a fellow train passenger, are positive for our state of mind. If that's a bit out of your comfort zone, James recommends the TEDx talk 7 ways to make a conversation with anyone.
Playing gambling machines or losing 3 hours of your day on social media is not the same thing. This is not stretching our ability and doesn't leave us with the "expanded sense of self" that a flow activity produces.
As a painting has light and shade it's also important to have a mix of extraordinary and ordinary moments. "The sacred is in the ordinary ... it is to be found in one's daily life, in one's neighbours, friends, and family, in one's backyard."
If we treat the ordinary as special, it too can feel extraordinary. As we age we tend to move from "exciting happiness" towards this "calm happiness" of really enjoying the ordinary moments.
Significance includes generosity and legacy - and gives a deep sense of happiness. The generosity can be either money or time, which is interesting. We might expect that giving our time is more difficult because it is a limited resource.
Maybe that's the key. Perhaps time is like money. When we spend it wisely, we find we actually have more than enough to share some around. And that gives us even more happiness.
Why don't we like leisure?
The happiness course I took included a study where researchers measured people's happiness at work and at home. Surprisingly, it seemed that people were often happier at work.Part of the explanation was that at work we are trained, doing tasks that challenge us and (hopefully) achieving goals. At home we flick channels hoping for something better than when we checked 10 minutes ago.
But who wants to work more? Free time is scarce enough already. Isn't it?
Why are we so time-poor?
James gives seven reasons why we are time-poor.Reason 1 is that we now earn so much, so are more tempted to trade away more of our free time. Reasons 2 to 6 relate to digital devices (see my review of Digital Minimalism).
Reason 7 is the basis of the rest of the book. We aren't taught leisure. While the corporate world has endless courses on time management and business productivity, there's not much to teach us how to get maximum joy from our personal time (until this book).
So we waste time on empty experiences, because we didn't have a better idea, or because the empty experience was well-marketed.
Time is what we want most but use worst
Quiz time
James includes a quiz to test our "Experience Intelligence" - how well we can pick which of two experiences will bring greater joy.You take the quiz twice. First what you think brings greater joy, and second - what you personally would actually choose. (I scored pretty well theoretically but not-so-well on what I'd actually do, so I've got change to make.)
The happiness checklist
James frames a checklist as the best way to choose experiences that will give us satisfaction and happiness. He's a fan of acronyms, so the seven factors on the checklist spell out STORIES.The book includes heaps of detail about how and why each of these things increase our happiness; some very interesting stories from James; and ideas for experiences that include these factors.
Here's a very brief summary of each one:
1. Story
Will it give me a story to tell others?
The "mirror neurons" in our brains make us very receptive to stories. Our stories build connections between us. These connections lead to relationship which also leads to happiness.James gives tips on how to choose activities with story and how to tell our story. It's also about how we tell our story to ourselves that affects our happiness.
2. Transformation
Will it help me develop grow transform?
Having worked in the travel industry James describes three types of holidays - fly and flop; find and seek; go and become. The first two are familiar - a week at a beach resort, or a tour of the sights and cafes of Paris.The third type is more about personal growth, development and self-actualisation. He says all three have their place, but the "go and become" offers the most transformation.
3. Outside and offline
Will it be outside and offline?
Being around trees and water automatically makes us feel better. Talking about nature generally, James saysIt turns the volume down on stuff no-one wants
That list includes stress, hostility, depressive symptoms, cortisol levels, blood pressure and fatigue. All things we'd like less of.
Generally when we are in these environments we are also physically active, which also increases happiness.
Comedian Romesh quips the poor battery life of smartphones is the best thing about them, because "when the battery runs out, then I'll interact with my kids". Phones are really good at distracting us from things we truly enjoy.
The book includes a phone addiction quiz. (I wonder how Romesh would score.)
4. Relationships
Will it bring me closer to others and enhance my relationships?
Hobbies are great. Often we do them with other people. Even ones we do by individually (eg. running or cycling) can help us feel part of a community. They also give us stories to tell.I recently heard the story of woman who cycled down the west coast of the USA. While she did it solo, she did bump into other long-range riders along the way and has a great story to tell.
Even short-lived interactions, like one with a fellow train passenger, are positive for our state of mind. If that's a bit out of your comfort zone, James recommends the TEDx talk 7 ways to make a conversation with anyone.
5. Intensity
Will it be intense and launch me into the zone of flow?
The concept of flow is when you are "in the zone". You are stretching your ability, pursuing a clear goal, immersed in what you are doing. Sometimes we achieve this at work, and we can do it in our leisure time too.Playing gambling machines or losing 3 hours of your day on social media is not the same thing. This is not stretching our ability and doesn't leave us with the "expanded sense of self" that a flow activity produces.
6. Extraordinary
Will it be new, awesome and extraordinary in some way?
Studies have found that short holidays give the same amount of happiness as long ones. The key thing is to have extraordinary moments that are memorable and to have some time to reflect on them in the last bit of the holiday.As a painting has light and shade it's also important to have a mix of extraordinary and ordinary moments. "The sacred is in the ordinary ... it is to be found in one's daily life, in one's neighbours, friends, and family, in one's backyard."
If we treat the ordinary as special, it too can feel extraordinary. As we age we tend to move from "exciting happiness" towards this "calm happiness" of really enjoying the ordinary moments.
7. Status and significance
Will it connect me to others and help me be significant?
James talks about status (eg. being a CEO) correlating to a longer life - but not necessarily a happier one. While status alone can be self-centric it can lead to significance (which I think is the better aim).Significance includes generosity and legacy - and gives a deep sense of happiness. The generosity can be either money or time, which is interesting. We might expect that giving our time is more difficult because it is a limited resource.
Maybe that's the key. Perhaps time is like money. When we spend it wisely, we find we actually have more than enough to share some around. And that gives us even more happiness.
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