Skip to main content

How gifts go wrong

I'm not the first person to suggest that we shouldn't give gifts to adults (they just result in stress and waste) but I can give you an example of why.

The mid-way birth-day

Midway between my wife's birthday and mine, my sister gives us a combined gift. That's a good idea - to cut present stress by half.

So what was it?

As gifts go it was a reasonable thought. My wife and I enjoy board games and the TV series Doctor Who, so the Doctor Who version of Monopoly seemed like a good gift idea. Except that another friend had the exact same idea. Now we have two of the same game.


What to do with the extra gift?

A gift is meant to be an enjoyable experience for the receiver, but here's what happened:

  • We thought of re-gifting it, but can't think of anyone who's a big fan of both Doctor Who and Monopoly.
  • We decided to sell it online. At least that way my sister won't have completely wasted her money.
  • So far three people have contacted us but none have followed through.
  • So the saga continues...
[Update: We have now sold the game for a fraction of its retail price]

It's not meant to be like this

This is not what my sister had in mind. It's not like she set out to find a burdensome gift that would never be played and take months to sell - but that's a risk with store-bought gifts. Even a reasonable idea can result in disappointment (I had to explain why we weren't ripping open the plastic wrap and getting into the game).

The personal touch

My sister is also a pretty good cook. If she'd baked us up a couple of batches of her Anzac biscuits - or a chocolate slice - that would have been a great gift.

It would be appreciated. It would be unique as each person cooks them in their own way. It would be special because she makes it herself.

And if someone else gets me the exact same thing - that's no problem at all :)

Let's not be tricked by all the advertising telling us we have to spend a lot of time and money at the shops to give a great gift.

Let's give them something they really want - even if it's something we make ourselves.

PS. The SoKind Registry is a great help in making sure you get and give presents that are appreciated.

Other reading

On gift giving between adults, see Baby steps to reducing adult gift giving at Christmas and Holiday gift-giving between adults is a needless, consumerist chore. Both have interesting perspectives.

Comments

  1. One of my favourite gifts is the gift of someone's time. When they make (or bake!) you something, or invite you to spend time with them. I feel that in today's world there is an unlimited supply of 'things', but time is always in limited supply.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The real cost of owning a car

It's been about 10 years since I've owned a car. My wife doesn't own one either. "You must save a lot in petrol" That's one of the frequent reactions when someone discovers we don't own a car. "Of course, but it's just the tip of the iceberg" is the usual theme of my reply. Many people I've talked to just aren't fully aware of the real cost of owning a car. Or even that there are six different costs of owning a car. Six? Really? Yes. Occasionally a work colleague or friend will boast their car only costs $X per week. Of course it turns out only some factors have been counted. Sometimes it's just petrol alone. To some people, that feels like the only cost they pay each week. Why does this matter? You might be questioning the need for a second car in the household (or even having one at all). Or you might just be choosing which car to get next. Either way, to make an informed decision we need proper information. So let's look at...

Man Down

How is it possible for a book to be depressing, supportive and hopeful all at once? Man Down looks at the problems men have today and how it managed to get this way. What price 'success'? It seems so many of the problems come from the external pressure to be a 'success' - whatever that means. Over time this pressure becomes internal and drives us to make decisions to satisfy that pressure, but which are detrimental in so many other ways. It can be the pressure to take a 'successful' career, though it's one we don't want or aren't suited for. Or to take a promotion, because salary is apparently success - or at least it buys all the things that signal success to others.  The promotion only means more pressure, less sleep, and poorer health. At the same time the extra responsibility takes away from our ability to exercise, take care of our health and form social connections. The lack of social connections means that retiring is one of the most dangerou...

Colour me happy

One of the great things about reducing possessions is thing called 'helper's high' . It's that fuzzy feeling you get from helping someone else out. I got one recently by helping an old man lift heavy groceries into his car boot when he was struggling. But this is not about that. I was about to put some watercolour paints online for anyone who wanted them. Then I remembered a local community group where people do art therapy. I gave the paints to a contact who passed them on to the group. The next day my contact called me to say how much they were appreciated. One of the participants wanted to do some watercolour painting, but couldn't afford the paints. When my contact walked in with free paints the participant was overjoyed to be able to do her art. As far as 'helper's highs' go, this was a slightly removed one - I never met the actual person I helped. But still it was a buzz.