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Why living differently is rare

Why do so many go mainstream?

Once you discover the benefits of an alternate lifestyle (for want of a better phrase) it's hard to see why more people haven't taken it up.

Whether it's minimalism, part-time work, frugality, financial independence or eco-friendly living; at some point we ask ourselves why so many people live the mainstream lifestyle.

  • "Why do people own so much stuff?" we might wonder, "Surely they must realise how little joy they get from those items.".
  • "Why do people (and companies) insist on working 40 hours a week rather than 30?"
  • "Why do people spend practically all their income, rather than investing for a passive income that could last forever?"
  • "Why do people drive so much when there are healthier, more affordable and eco-friendly ways to travel?"

The wisdom of Solomon

I recently read about the conformity experiments of Solomon Asch. He gave people simple multiple choice questions and recorded their success rate.

Individually, people would get 99% of these questions right. The questions were not difficult. Like this one asking which of A, B and C is the same length as the reference line.


Asch's experiments had six actors and one test subject. Each would say their answers aloud to a series of these easy questions. The six actors were instructed ahead of time to give the same wrong answer.

The test subject would go last, and it was that person's results that were the focus of the experiment.

The stunning results

Remember, that 99% of these questions were answered correctly by individuals. But when six actors give a deliberately wrong answer, the success rate of test subjects was just 63%.

A quarter of test subjects completely ignored the actors, and gave correct answers all the time.

But the other three-quarters of participants were swayed (some or all of the time) to conform to the majority and make the wrong choice. In this group, they averaged about 50% conformity to the wrong answer. Again, remember that participants doing the test alone scored 99% correct.

Back to real life

I can't help but think this explains a lot of the answer to my earlier rhetorical questions. In a way, life is a series of these multi-choice questions.

  • How much stuff should we buy? Some / more / lots
  • What size home should I get? Small / medium / large
  • How many hours a week should we work? 20 / 35 / 48
  • How much of my income should I save and invest? 70% / 30% / 0%
  • How many cars should a couple own? 0 / 1 / 2

The more we see the majority give the third answer, the more we conform. Whether it's a real majority or the illusion of one created by advertising, we perceive the majority is doing it and often conform to a potentially wrong answer.

Sometimes it seems not to matter whether those answers are harmful to our happiness, our bank balance, our mental health, our future or our physical health. It's the answer we feel that everyone else is giving, so it's going to be our answer too.

[Side note: Research shows that people living in the same street as a new-car-lottery winner are more likely to buy a new car.]

Ever been in a trivia competition?

Solomon Asch also performed variations of the original test, such as including an ally. Like the other six actors, this person was also set-up, but to give the correct answer.

The subtle change (from a 6-0 wrong majority to a 6-1 wrong majority) boosted the test subject's correct answers from 63% to 95%. Having just one person who isn't feeding you the wrong answer makes a huge difference.

This result might resonate with you if you've been in a trivia quiz. If your teammates all think Toronto is the capital of Canada, you may not speak up (even though you're 95% sure it's Ottawa). But if just one team-mate also says Ottawa, you're far more likely to push for that to be your team's answer.

And you'd be right. That's the value of an ally.

I want to be an ally

This has inspired me to be more of an ally for other people. I'm not sure exactly what that looks like yet or what form it takes. But I'd like to be that person who enables someone to consider that the answer they have inside them may indeed be the right choice for them - even if it doesn't conform to the majority.

I say "the right choice for them" because life's a little less cut-and-dried than the questions in the test. In life the answers can depend on your values, your family and your circumstances. And the questions are not as easy as comparing three lines.

Some people may earnestly believe that it's in their best interest to work many hours for many years to buy a huge house, lots of stuff, two cars and save nothing. Fair enough - it's their call.

But I'm going to be there for the person who doesn't feel there's a better life for them, but may succumb to the pressure to conform to the majority, because "that's what people do".

Related Reading

Why we're not happy with 'things'
Curing Affluenza
6 Ways experiences are better than stuff

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